“If there’s a book you really want to read but it hasn’t been written yet, then you must write it.” - Toni Morrison

Friday, January 10, 2014

Chocolate on the Job

It's another month! So guess what that means - Chatterbox time! If you don't know what that is, check this post out. ;)

Anyway, I just got this idea for a new sci-fi/spy-type novel this afternoon. I wrote a scene for it today, and when I saw that the Chatterbox post was out, I thought, why not do it on this new idea? For this writing tidbit, I was to write on something dealing with food. Enjoy, and please let me know what you think. :) :)


This could be Lona.
"Mmm...chocolates," Lona opened a shiny gold box on the President's desk and picked a heart-shaped chocolate up.

"Hey, you know that might be poisoned, right?" Perdo cautioned her.

"Yeah, yeah...who heard of the President eating poisoned chocolates? Why would he want to do that to himself?" she came back on him with her usual quick remark.

"Umm...someone who wants to kill the President?" Perdo rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, except no one wants to kill the President, except for us. And he's out cold." Lona put a hand to his wrist to feel the chubby man's pulse. "He should be asleep for five more minutes."

"Change of subject?" Perdo prompted her.

"Whatever." She held the chocolate up high, tilted her head back dramatically, and slowly opened her mouth.

Maybe Perdo...I'm not
sure yet how I want
him to look. Also, I
made his name up out
of the blue. I have a
feeling I'm going to
change it.
"Don't!" Perdo rushed to her side to move her hand away.

Too late. The chocolate was in and Lorna was chewing away with a mock delighted expression on her face. She swallowed, turned to the box, and popped three more chocolates into her mouth, slyly averting Perdo's grab at her hand.

"This is really good, Perdo. You should try one," she told him with her mouth full. She opened her mouth to let him see liquid chocolate with chunks of nut.

"That's kind of gross, you know?"

"Err, excuse me? This is a soldier talking here!" Lona poked a chocolate-y finger into Perdo's forehead. "You're not supposed to flinch at dead bodies and blood."

"Yeah, but...whatever," Perdo sighed. He knew he could never get the upper hand with this girl.

"Try a chocolate." Lorna held out the box with a gracious hand.

"Shouldn't we...be doing what we're here for?"

"Stop stalling." Lona blew out her breath and put the box down, turning back to him with a chocolate in between her thumb and forefinger of each hand. "Open wide," she commanded as she held a square chocolate up to his mouth.

Perdo grunted his disapproval, but 'opened wide'.

The chocolate was good. In fact, one of the best things he had eaten in a long time. He couldn't remember the last time he had eaten chocolate - was it for the celebration when he was ten? Not that it had been much of a celebration - just a better dinner, and the trainers were a little less rough on him that day. A soldier doesn't get a break, even on his birthday.

"Hello....? Earth to Perdo," Lona's voice broke through his thoughts.

Perdo blinked. "Oh, sorry."

"So...?" She had her hands on her hips with an expectant look on her face.

"It's good," he admitted.

"Good! Good is good. Now let's get to work," Lona grabbed another three chocolates, popped them in her mouth, and then walked over to the first file cabinet to the right of the desk.

Perdo took the one to the left of the desk...after taking two chocolates when Lona wasn't looking. But from the way he heard her chuckling to herself, he knew that she was perfectly aware of what was going behind her back.

Who doesn't love chocolate?

What do you think of these two new characters? Why do you think they want to kill the President? And do you think that chocolate is so important that two undercover agents would stop to eat it on their job?

5 comments:

  1. Hi, Alyianna! Thanks for leaving me a comment! I love getting comments, and I don't get very many yet. Keep checking on my blog -- I will be posting more snippets of Dungeon. :)
    I read your Chocolate post and I will try to answer your questions.
    1. What do I think of these 2 new characters? They remind of some characters who are in popular shows on TV. They both obviously have some issues. Lona is a bit reckless, which makes me wonder what her backstory is and where she is going in this story. Perdo is a little more focused and maybe irritated by what he perceives as her lack of committment - although she obviously gets the job done fine, which is also annoying. And although they appear to be "equal partners", Lona is obviously running the show.
    2. Why do they want to kill the president? I have no idea, but it can't be too urgent since they have only sedated him at the moment. If they wanted him dead immediately, they could have done it. No, there is something more to that story. They think he is hiding something (perhaps something in the file cabinets), and whatever it is must be worth an awful lot to them for them to have run such risks.
    3. Is chocolate that important? No, in my opinion, chocolate is not that important. Lona has been an undercover agent for too long...she is getting cocky.
    So there are my reactions to your scene! I would be curious to know if I was close to right or if I were way off track. ;)

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    Replies
    1. Hi! You're welcome - and I will be definitely checking out more of your story posts in the near future as I followed your blog. :)

      I love your reactions - and you're definitely spot-on for most of it. For #1 - yep, Lona is the reckless type. Perdo is more focussed, yes - he also admires Lona's courage and the way she always knows what to do, but that doesn't really show in this scene. Her carelessness does annoy him slightly. For #2 - I actually haven't decided what is going to happen there, as I just came up with the story idea yesterday. For now, I'm just working with what I have and see what happens. #3 - Your comment made me laugh. Yeah, chocolate may be delicious, but it's perhaps not THAT important. :P

      I look forward to hearing more from you!

      - Alyianna

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  2. dropping by on the link-up... :) Had to check out a post on chocolate. XD I liked the "no one wants to kill the President, except for us." line a lot, LOL. New story ideas are always awesome...I hope this one goes well for you! :D

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    Replies
    1. I know no one would resist chocolate; that's partly where I got the idea. ;) Thank you, thank you. :) :)

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I'm psyched that you want to bless me with a comment! I dearly love to get any comment about my work, so feel free to critique and/or provide comments/suggestions! God bless! :)