“If there’s a book you really want to read but it hasn’t been written yet, then you must write it.” - Toni Morrison

Sunday, October 13, 2013

A Thief in Storybrooke

This is a fanfiction, but I hope those of you who haven't watched/read the story won't treat it like one, and get immersed in it. This is a first draft. Please comment, as it helps me a lot. Thanks. :)


Emma Swann, sheriff of Storybrooke, was on the trail of an elusive criminal. Or at least, that's what her guts were telling her. Of course, it was a very serious thing to suspect the owner of a town of foul play. And even though Mr. Gold had been the victim of a robbery just this afternoon, she still had a suspicion deep down that there wasn't something quite right about this whole business. When she had recovered the stolen articles and shown them to him in the afternoon, he wasn't appreciative of her effort it all. In fact, he had stated that the stolen items weren't all there and had acted as if the missing thing or things were more precious than all of the valuables put together. Even stranger was his reaction to her promise that she would find who the believed thief was, Moe French, a flower seller.

"Yeah, if I don't get to him first."

Not exactly something an innocent person would say.

Those words chilled her now. And that is why she was trailing French's Flower's van right now. The driver? Mr. Gold himself.

The problem was, Emma was pretty sure that Mr. Gold had caught on to her. He was beginning to take different turns as if an attempt to catch her off her guard. And it wasn't like Emma was stalking him in an obvious way. Her training had made her elusive and cunning. But the thing was, Mr. Gold was cunning, too - perhaps more clever than herself. Emma had never met anyone who was her match until now.

"Dang it!" Emma cursed under her breath. The lights changed red, but not before the van sped through them. It would be foolish to try following now, as that would make Gold even more suspicious. No, she would have to wait and pray to God that she hadn't lost him.

It seemed years before the lights finally changed and Emma was able to move again. Just like she had suspected, Gold was gone. Now it was up to her cleverness and a lucky chance to find him again.

Emma glanced down the left and right roads before speeding ahead towards a wooded area on the edge of town.

4 comments:

  1. Hello! Anna! I thought your excerpt was quite suspenseful and entertaining, if your looking for critiquing 1 thing I might be picky about is maybe cleaning up a bit and makIng it very clear who you are talking about, other than That good job! Your work is very capturing. :)

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    1. Thank you very much. :) I will be posting another part soon! :)

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  2. Intriguing and suspenseful. I also like your writing voice. Keep it up!

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I'm psyched that you want to bless me with a comment! I dearly love to get any comment about my work, so feel free to critique and/or provide comments/suggestions! God bless! :)